My now-husband Jon and I used to live in Washington, D.C., and it was there that we met via a mutual friend who organized a group outing one night. Jon had never said "I love you" to anyone before, but earlier that evening, he happened to tell his friends, half-jokingly: "Guys, I'm going to fall in love tonight, I know it." Oddly enough, he was right!
Later, we both admitted that we had it bad for each other since day one. When Jon moved all the way across the country to California for school, we were both ready to take on the challenge of a long-distance relationship...but what made it a lot easier was that he proposed during my first visit out to see him!
We quickly decided that we wanted to celebrate with two weddings: an Indian ceremony and reception, and a traditional Christian ceremony with a separate reception as well. So we kicked off the wedding planning while being engaged long-distance for six months before I moved to California myself. In March, we had wedding #1, which took place in Seattle. In late September of this year, we'll celebrate our six-month anniversary with a second wedding in Columbus, Ohio! Here's what I learned from planning not one, but two different cultural celebrations.
There are many ways that couples from different cultural backgrounds can choose to celebrate their union. For us, it just made sense to have two separate weddings in order to do justice to each. Being born and raised in Ohio but having come from an Indian cultural background, I knew that I wanted to have both a Christian ceremony in a white wedding dress, as well as a ceremonially traditional Indian one in a saree (or sari) -- and I was really excited to plan both! The customs are so vastly different (and beautiful) that we didn’t want to attempt to merge them together.
But this is by no means the only way to do it. Often, I’ve seen couples hold an Indian ceremony just prior to (or after) a Christian ceremony on the same day and throw one joint reception. I’ve also seen couples fuse different elements of their cultural heritage or religion to come up with their own unique ceremony. The decision may depend on a matter of logistics -- timing, cost, location, etc. -- more than anything else.
Cost: From my experience, blending two different cultures together is always more expensive, no matter how you slice it. Depending on who's paying for what, money can be a significant factor when deciding how your wedding will play out. If you get an amazing deal with a venue that you've fallen in love with, it might make more sense to go ahead and hold two ceremonies there on the same day. Or if your funds are limited, and you'd rather get the best possible vendors for the money that you're spending, it might just make more sense to concentrate finances on one wedding.
Location: Considering that Jon’s family is based in Seattle, all the way across the country from Ohio, we agreed that hosting two separate events was the best option for us. That way, we wouldn’t feel as if we were excluding friends and family by picking one location over the other. If the bride and groom have families in closer proximity, if one side has a much larger guest list than the other, or if a destination wedding is the right fit, it might be easier to just throw one multicultural wedding.
If you’re thinking about planning two separate wedding celebrations, I'd recommend hosting them six months apart. It’s not too long that it seems strange to have your second wedding and not too short that you end up planning both simultaneously (and possibly losing your mind!).
Even if you're hosting just one event, still leave enough time to incorporate everything from both cultures. While this option might seem easier at first, it still requires a lot of careful planning and tricky logistics.
Read the full story at wwww.marrybride.com!
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